Hmmm alright so i read both. you have some excellent terminology and wordplay at many points, "sinful curtains" was an excellent touch i might just have to steal.

that said. there was something a little off in the characters. (lightbulb) I got it! You are using passive language instead of active. Passed, realized, did, thought. instead try using active terms, like one of the last paragraphs " Silvia realized that she was falling in love with him." 

instead try "Silvia realizes she may be falling in love with him." or to go further, "it begins to dawn oh Silvia's conscience that she may be falling in love with this man." so instead of being told a story, the reader participates in it. When passive tense is used there is no tension, things have already happened, but when active language is used everything is "now" and developing in front of the reader. It takes a little practice but it will make a world of difference in your writing. it may help to consider yourself not the the story teller but instead one of the characters, acting things out. Before you know it, you may be in character and one of them might just surprise you